Breaking Free: Discovering Embodiment and Overcoming Shame
Welcome to Living Authentically: Personal Insights and Transformative Journeys in Sex and Intimacy Coaching, a blog series dedicated to exploring the transformative power of somatic coaching, intimacy, and self-discovery.
Through my personal experiences, professional growth, and the powerful methods I use with clients, this series will guide you on a journey to reconnect with yourself and others. Whether you’re seeking to heal past wounds, reignite your relationships, or simply understand yourself on a deeper level, these stories and insights may offer a roadmap to embracing your most authentic and fulfilled life.
You’re on Blog #2 of the series - If you haven’t read Blog #1 yet, please head back and start there.
The path to becoming a somatic sex and intimacy coach wasn’t straightforward—it was a journey of self-discovery, transformation, and breaking free from the weight of shame.
After leaving my marriage, I found myself at a crossroads. While still working in the corporate world, I began to uncover parts of myself that had been hidden for so long, but I didn’t yet know how to channel this awakening into something meaningful. My journey toward becoming a somatic sex and intimacy coach began with a desire to understand myself deeply—not just intellectually but on an embodied level.
The first step was enrolling in an introductory certificate program in embodiment counselling with the Institute of Somatic Sexology. Which, in a strange coincidence, was run out of my hometown, Brisbane, Australia (I was based in Vancouver at this point). This training was transformative for me. It taught me how to connect with my body, energy, and spirit in ways I had never imagined. I discovered the immense power of embodiment and began to understand the depth of wisdom our bodies hold. This newfound connection to my physical self awakened a profound sense of purpose within.
Through embodiment, I uncovered a profound sense of who I am and who I want to be, both personally and professionally.
While exploring study options specializing in sexuality, such as university degrees in sexology, I realized I wanted something more hands-on and immediately applicable. That’s when I found Somatica® Institute. Their experiential approach to somatic sex and relationship coaching resonated deeply. Through their programs, I trained in their core methodology, completed advanced certification, and specialized in Couples and BDSM training. Each step of this journey blew apart my understanding of intimacy, relationships, and myself and expanded my mind toward what authentic sex and relationships can truly feel like.
This wasn’t just professional growth—it was personal transformation.
I embraced my queerness, my ambi-amorous nature, and my identity as someone who is openly kinky. These aspects of myself, which had once felt buried or inaccessible, became integral to who I am today.
But stepping into this field wasn’t without its challenges. Attaching my name to sex and intimacy coaching felt daunting, especially in a society that often stigmatizes open conversations about sexuality. I carried a great deal of shame—not just about my own experiences, but about what others might think of me for choosing this path. This is ironic considering how many times relatives told me I ‘had no shame’, as a teenager.
It took time and effort to detox from societal expectations about what I “should” or “shouldn’t” be. I had to unlearn deeply ingrained beliefs and confront the voices in my head that told me this was a bad idea or that I would be judged by others. The reactions from my family were mixed at first, and navigating those conversations was challenging. Over time, however, they have come to accept and support me, which feels incredibly validating.
The decision to embrace my authenticity did not come without loss though, with my maid of honour distancing herself from me soon after choosing to explore polyamorous relationships.
Overcoming these challenges has shaped the way I approach my work. I meet my clients where they are, with empathy and understanding, knowing firsthand the courage it takes to face shame and embrace authenticity. This journey taught me that stepping into our truth is one of the most empowering things we can do for ourselves.
Reclaiming your story and shedding the weight of shame can be life-changing.
When we embrace our authentic selves, we open the door to a profound connection with those we’re truly aligned with. Just be prepared to lose those who no longer align with your journey.
